It's All About Us
by FinalFallenFantasy
Summary: Perversions must be punished..." "In such a place as this, how can we be together?" Hayner knows there is no way to relieve the pain in his heart but despair and hope are held in equal balance. What a bad summary. Based off 'It's All About Us' by TATU


**AN: **Hai ^^. Well, I watched this youtube video called 'It's All About Us', about Seifer and Hayner, and it fits so well that I decided I just had to write a fanfic based on it. It's not a songfic, but its inspiration was a song. (By t.A.T.u, if you were wondering). So, enjoy.

Hayner didn't know how long it had been since he started watching Seifer. At Struggle matches, at school, at clubs, in the street, on the tram, on the beach. Everywhere. But he did know exactly when he'd realised it. The twelfth of September, two years ago. Six days after starting school again, as Year Elevens. At exactly two thirty six in the afternoon, during fifth and final period. He'd been watching the clock for the past twenty one minutes, urging it to go faster, when he'd glanced away from it for a moment, his eyes returning to their other familiar place: Seifer. Then, for no apparent reason, a flood of images clouded his mind; Seifer, as a kid, yelling at him to give his beanie back; pinning him to the floor, smirking down at him and making his stomach do a strange flip-flop, pushing him off the back of the tram when he'd been slightly _too_ insulting towards the older blonde; in the communal showers, head tilted back as he washed the shampoo out of his pale hair, eyes closed, his skin slightly flushed at the heat of the water… He froze and gasped, looking for all the world like he'd been turned to stone. He grabbed the edge of the table in a white-knuckle grip as four fateful words flashed across his mind. '_Shit… I love Seifer…'_. He'd spent the next thirty four minutes of the lesson fidgeting and trying his hardest not to blush when the older boy leaned back in his chair, rocking it on two legs and handed him a set of papers they were all supposed to take and pass the rest on. However, the look on Seifer's face (slightly bemused and scornful) proved he'd done no better at that than he had at not throwing up on that school trip.

As soon as the bell rang he had been up and out of there, desperate to get away from the older boy before they could begin their usual routine of building up to a fight.

But all of that was two and a half years ago. Now, Hayner was standing at the sidelines of a Struggle tournament, watching his secret crush and lifelong worst enemy battling some punk from the other high school, easily knocking the Struggle balls off of the other boy's belt and keeping him at arm's length. Anyone looking at the small blonde might have noticed that, although his face was perfectly blank of emotion, he never once blinked. And the next thing they would have noticed was that his eyes expressed all of the emotion that one would have thought would be impossible to contain within that small frame. Well, Hayner was nothing if not intense.

So many people assumed that, because he was so outgoing when he was with his friends, he wore his heart on his sleeve, every emotion flickering across his face as it came. But they were wrong. Never would anyone have caught the momentary softening of his eyes when his eyes met his rival's, and _no one_ would ever have dreamed that the name on his lips on the nights he woke up sweaty and panting was that of Seifer Almasy.

At first, he'd been utterly disgusted with himself, in deeper denial than Roxas was over his science grades. He'd passed it off as hormones, as lust, as a warped form of hatred, as jealousy, as anger, as a fever. Whatever it was, it could not be love. Could it?

Turned out it could. Hayner remembered the day when he finally gave up pretending and just admitted to himself that it wasn't 'just a crush'. Typically, it had been during a Struggle match with the guy. He was being pinned down by Seifer in their usual position of winner/loser and Seifer had just _looked_ at him, like he could see right through him. That had been when Hayner threw a wild punch that landed on the older boy's jaw before legging it out of there. Since then, nothing had changed. Not the way he thought about the blonde bully, nor the way the older boy evidently felt about him, if the bruises were anything to go by.

Besides, he shouldn't be feeling this way about a _boy_. He'd always been brought believing that the only form of _that kind_ of love was between men and women. So he was even more confused. But the truth was, he'd never thought of girls like that, even after he'd gotten past the 'girls have cooties' stage. They were strange creatures he'd never understand if he tried, but they could be good friends, as Olette was busy proving.

And yet she didn't know… No one did. Hayner had never built up the courage to ask how love between men worked, or whether it was even supposed to exist. It wasn't like it was an outwardly homophobic area or anything (besides, Hayner didn't even know that the word 'homophobe' existed) but the idea was just… never mentioned. Until he realised he was in love with his rival, the idea that men could fall in love with other men had never even crossed his mind. And now… he was alone. He could never tell anyone; what if his parents found out? He'd once tried to ask them, but it was the first time he'd ever been exposed to any kind of discrimination from that area.

"_Mum, dad…" Hayner started a little awkwardly._

"_Yes, dear?" his mother smiled kindly at him over her shoulder._

"_Um… you know men and w-women are supposed to fall in l-love when they get older?" he stammered, trying not to seem as nervous as he felt. Goddammit, he was fifteen. He shouldn't have been this worried about asking a simple question!_

"_Oh, darling, have you fallen in love with someone?" his mother asked amusedly._

"_N-no!" he balled his hands into fists, trying not to get angry. "I was just wondering… What happens if a boy falls in love with another boy?" His parents had immediately stopped whatever they had been doing and just stared at him like he'd grown another head._

"_Darling… That just doesn't happen. Not here. It's wrong. Not to mention illegal."_

"_Huh? Why's falling in love illegal?" He had blinked, sure he'd heard wrong. Love just _couldn't_ be illegal – there was too much of it everywhere to stop it like that._

"_Because it's not really love. It's just… it's greed." His mother had shaken her head. "It deprives the world of the children it needs."_

"_But… there are so many children born everyday… and so many people don't have kids…" Hayner was starting to get really confused. Why would loving someone be illegal? Or greedy? Besides, he never wanted any kids anyway. His mother had come forward to take him by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Why are you asking us about this, Hayner? Have you fallen in love with a boy?" Hayner immediately shook his head and lied through his teeth._

"_No… I was just wondering, that's all. I saw two men kissing and wondered if they were married." His mother had drawn in a little gasp at that and closed her eyes as if praying._

"_Hayner, don't think about it, alright? It's sick and perverted and wrong. And God hates those that are evil."_

"_But I thought God loved everybody…" A younger Hayner whispered, struggling to keep up with all of this input._

"_Not them. They are devils in human form. If a man ever tries to touch you anywhere other than a hug or pat on the shoulder, head or back, tell us immediately and we'll deal with him. And next time you see two men in a compromising situation like that; try and see who it is, then tell us. Perversions must be punished." Those words had rung in Hayner's mind, blocking out all else._

'_Perversions must be punished'_ Hayner thought as he trudged through the bright sunlight, delivering mail. He smiled bitterly to himself, remembering those words from long ago. _'Then I must be punished. And there's no way in hell I'm gonna let them do it without a fight.'_ He was surprised that he'd been able to hide his… orientation for so long without it being picked up on; after all, he could be a little too obvious sometimes. But then again, no one had ever noticed his massive crush on his arch nemesis. He supposed he was probably hiding it quite well. But that was necessary. If anyone found out he was gay (yes he knew the word for it now), let alone that he liked _Seifer_, self-appointed leader of the Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee… And if said blonde bully found out... Well, Hayner was pretty sure he wouldn't live to see another dawn. Not because Seifer was anti-gay or anything (probably was), but... he just figured that he wouldn't appreciate a crush from his oldest enemy.

Sighing, Hayner picked up his pace, wanting to get through the Sandlot as quickly as possible. He had almost no time left to deliver the last three letters, but it was enough, if he hurried. So wishing Seifer would show up was counterproductive. And besides, all the encounter would result in was yet more bruises. And Hayner was getting sick of it. He knew that if he didn't do something soon, he'd end up regretting it and letting it all out in some rash declaration or action. He never wanted that to happen. If keeping his family and friends meant meeting some nice girl he felt nothing for and getting married and having kids, then he was willing to do it. He had too much to lose. But if Seifer ever asked him… he wasn't sure he'd be able to resist. So it was a good thing the older boy wasn't gay. It prevented him from having to make a choice.

**AN:** So, the first chapter. This will probably be my longest fic so far cos I've got too many ideas. It started out as something completely different, which I think I might publish separately as they're almost nothing alike. I crave constructive criticism, guys, so if there are any improvements you feel need highlighting, please tell me. I can't get better without feedback.

Oh yeah, almost forgot: if anyone's interested in betaing for me, PM me. Or leave a review or something. Thanks ^^.

BTW, I AM still working on the giftfics, guys – I'm just focussing on finishing 'So You Think It Will Work', which shouldn't take too much longer. Then it'll be the holidays so I'll be able to finish them, mkay? ^^


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